Today I finished watching the two seasons of “my fat mad diary”, as a summary, it’s about the life of a “big” girl, who happens to be awesome, but doesn’t believe in herself.
I guess I had really never fallen so much into any character, she.. Well, I’ve been there, all except for the mental institution, or the part where she falls for Archie (gay) but everything else, I’ve been there.
Some of us are broken pieces,
meant to be broken,
lately it’s been hard again,
I can’t sleep, I feel sick,
I REALLY can’t look at myself in the mirror,
I hate everything I see, E V E R Y T H I N G .
I really want to hide it, but sometimes I can’t be strong
Sometimes they can see it in my eyes,
I know they can, I see it deep in theirs,
how they worry, how they know I am broken.
But then again, I am, I am broken.
Hiding it doesn’t make it go away, does it?
Laughing without feeling happy,
is it better than not laughing at all?
who am I lying to?
WHO THE FUCK AM I KIDDING?!
This is the kind of situation in which I should surround myself with friends,
but I wanna be alone,
I wanna sit in the corner of my room and cry,
just like I do every night,
but just stay there,
come out when it gets all better,
but will it? will it even get better?
I write this here, not as a cry for attention, we all just need a place to let it all out, where we probably will stay unread, unnoticed, just so our stories won’t be left untold.
God, I need a friend,
I need a hug,
but I want to be alone,
I don’t understand myself,
I am broken in pieces,
am I meant to ever be fixed?
or are we broken people really meant to stay like this for ever?